I donâ€™t rememberÂ my first mentioned ABC Familyâ€™s Slacker Cats. I could go back through my blog and read the exact post. Because I control the weather here at failedpilot.com, the decision has against any research (at all). I do remember the tone. I didnâ€™t find it especially funny. I found it weird and crude for an ABC Family program with Walmart spots. My first impression of the jokes? Early South Park (pre-good); maybe Family Guyâ€™s pop-culture-references-as-a-crutch. Good news! Slacker Cats has changed for the better, or Iâ€™ve lost more of my mind. Your choice. I must reiterate: Cats are the thinking-personâ€™s pet. Please allow five minutes for my trademark critical train wreck:
â€œBuckleyâ€ (voiced by Harland Williams) – The overweight cat. The cat with a heart. Gets along with owner (a single white female). One of two main characters. The flawed hero. Wears a fanny-pack that became a bad punch line. Sleeps under a specially-made â€œBest Cat in the Worldâ€ blanket. The still-unfortunate slang â€œSlackerâ€ does not apply to Buckley.
â€œEddieâ€ (voiced by the Ebony/Redbook-approved Sinbad) – The bad cat responsible for the schemes that make up each plot, as well asÂ most of the â€œadultâ€ humor.
â€œDooperâ€ (voiced by Emo Phillips) – Homeless, possibly drug-addicted cat. Lives in a fridge box. Other than my affection for all things CAT,Â the V.O.Â is the only reason this post is being written. That and the fact that Iâ€™m obviously out of material (saving the good stuff for an upcoming live performance – I spread it thin). Ten years ago, I made a career-killing joke about Emo Phillips. My careerâ€¦his died in some other fashion.
â€œTabithaâ€ (voiced by one of the Desperate Housewives) – Not a Tabby. Fills the batty, air-headed, â€œall women are crazyâ€ stereotype. Most of the showâ€™s pranks end with her as the butt.
â€œMrs. Bootsâ€ (voiced by the hilarious Niecy Nash, a performerÂ rocking the previously unknown void created by the need for a poor-manâ€™s Wanda Sykes) – Fills the all-hefty-Black-ladies-are-sassy-and-act-like-underpaid-student-loan-customer-service-employees stereotype.
Why am I doing this? Why was it allowed to go this far? Did I just write all of this? Lisa Lampanelli is enjoying her first appearance on my TV (Iâ€™ve yet to endure the female Don Rickles, the white Carlos Mencia), I have a couple of deadlines burning a hole through my brain, and Iâ€™m absolutely beat raggedâ€¦..