The Lost Warriors of “Hipster Metal”

“Hipster Metal” is a term that people are now using, out loud, around other people. Oddly, lunches appear to be held down. I am here to document the early, forgotten losers of whatever you’d like to call it (in the other room).

Gobblehoof – Could be the most unlistenable band to have ever gone from the idea stage to the record stage. Garnered minimal mention in mid-level music glossies due to involvement (production and drumming) of J. Mascis.

UpsideDown Cross – Boston dirtballs that sounded like Daniel Johnston singing for a paraplegic Trouble. Record covers used to disturb me as a senior in high school, though I have no idea why.

Gruel – Very catchy thrash-pop from Tallahassee that lived an unknown life and died a quiet death. Metal in sound and regionalism, plus, they did a split with Phobia.

Bitch Magnet – This band wasn’t metal until their last LP, 1990’s Ben Hur. The opening track, “Dragon,” actually rips a Pantera riff, unwittingly or not.

SST (?) – Maybe they started this whole mess. The evidence is there: Gone, sludge-period Black Flag, Wurm, Das Damen, and the most curiously bad band of all time: SWA.

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