A Message From A Friend

Soon to have his own nook in the blogaverse (not MySpace), Skag Winesack nonetheless wanted to check in with this nugget of home safety advice:

This information is not free, and I will find a way to bill all of you. I’m not so sure about the stopping power of a shotgun, even a 10 gauge. Also, I don’t rely on a .9mm unless the range is around 2 – 4 feet. I usually keep my .9mm concealed in a bowl of BeerNuts, with my hand clinched around the handle. I often have the safety feature removed from a gun. I wouldn’t use a baseball bat unless the core is removed and replaced with lead. Then, it’s only useful on an intruder that weighs less than 100 pounds. The dock leading to my boat is rigged with trip wires that activate aimed shotguns, nail bombs, and homemade flamethrowers. I have performed preliminary sabotage (clipped brake lines, gunpowder in carb, live ants) on the automobiles of several people that I loosely suspect might be plotting against me in the near-to-distant future.

You’re welcome.

-Skag Winesack

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