David Geffen: Start yelling.
Don Simpson: Hang around Jerry Bruckheimer.
Bill Drummond: Be the only true genius. Anywhere. With anything.
Ice Cube: Come home from tour, do your momâ€™s dishes, take a break to call your lawyer.
Lorne Michaels:Â Feign quitingÂ (x 1,000).
Bobby Gillespie: Do so many drugs that they have a reverse impact on the aging process.
James Woods: Donâ€™t turn down The Boost.
Wendy and Lisa: Go solo.
Bab Zany: Sell your window unit air-conditioner and bed spreadÂ on eBay.
Wonder Showzen: DO THE UNTHINKABLE!!! SUBVERT THE CHILDRENâ€™S SHOW FORMAT!!!!
Big Daddy Kane: Make T-Shirts with the catchphrase â€œCome Over Here And Sit On My Big Daddy Kane!!â€
The Meerkat Population: Star in a reality TV show.
Unknown: Come up with the concept for The Puppy Bowl.
Robert DeNiro: Pull the George Clooney, but star in 14 bad movies per year so that you can make one better-than-average one.
Miranda July: Get writing work from Harperâ€™s on the strength of an obscenelyÂ uninspired indie movie.
Any comedian between the ages of 20 and 40: Discover indie rock.
Me: Compose underwhelming lists at two in the morning.