How to avoid a fair shake from me.

Your aesthetic mishaps are my valuable time-savers!! Your harsh lack of originality trims the fat!! Want me to write you off as irrelevant? Do one or more of the following things:

-Name your band something really stupid. Vietnam, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Bloc Party, IMA ROBOT, Genghis Tron, any nod to 80’s street or Hip Hop culture used to name a rock band.

-Use robot imagery, sing about robots, use the word “robot” in a name or title.

-Use pirate imagery, lyrics, or state out loud that you find pirates amusing.

-Use unicorn imagery or lyrics.

-Be a “confrontational” live act.

-Claim to make hardcore in the year 2006.

-Have 4 – 5 members and make directionless, improv noise that could have been created by one person.


-Obvious uptight dickheadedness + San Francisco, Portland, Olympia WA origins.

Wear this type of t-shirt in publicity photos (not the Black Flag one, though that’s laughable as well). What is UP with this t-shirt trend?!?!?!? Pussies.

-Be a fake redneck.

-Make underground Hip Hop.

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