I will now issue a review of The Departed

If The Departed proves one thing, it’s that Martin Scorsese has really, really, really, really, bad taste in music. There are three songs in the movie.

“Gimme Shelter”
by The Rolling Stones

“I’m Shipping Up To Boston”
Performed by Dropkick Murphys

“Comfortably Numb”
Performed by Van Morrison & The Band

But The Departed proves some other things.

Searching hard for a better than average cop movie? Don’t have a classic rock station in your town? Don’t know any quasi-racist OI ass-bag locker room rapists from which to request a mixed CD? Are other crime films too realistic for you? The Departed may be your movie.

Everything you’ve read about this movie, which I’m assuming falls under the category of “praise,” is overblown. The Departed is not identifiable as a Scorsese movie (aside from the shitty classic rock), it is identifiable as a merely watch-able crime flick. Nicholson’s character is hard to watch, and even harder to believe. Do kingpins of his power personally attend drug deals? Can he at least dial it down a notch or two? There are better villains in TV crime. Much better. This is not a complex film, as critics have claimed. Nor is it a fast mover. The two and a half (or more) hours do not feel like 90 minutes. Around the two hour mark, you start to feel the minutes grating against your previous expectations of this movie. Maybe The Wire has spoiled me, because that particular example of writing and directing makes The Departed feel like a straight-to-DVD Michael Rooker vehicle.

And the last scene? Please.

Leave a Reply